Will’s Birth – My VBA2C Story

My third baby was my surprise baby.  Upon discovering I was pregnant, I knew that this child must have a very special purpose because he was clearly meant to be!  I also knew that I would like to try for an unmedicated, vaginal birth this time – something I had not experienced with my first two babies. I was induced at 41 weeks with my first baby because my OB thought the baby would be too big…  Going against my gut, I agreed to the induction and ended up with a c-section after failure to progress past 5 centimeters.  With my second child, I was DETERMINED to have a vaginal birth after cesarean, or VBAC. After nearly 24 hours of very difficult labor and progressing to 7 centimeters, the baby’s heart rate began decelerating and the midwife recommended c-section.  That experience, while absolutely incredible and one of the highlights of my life, devastated me. I had tried so very, very hard to birth my baby naturally, and I didn’t understand at all what had gone wrong.

Now with my surprise baby number three, I had an opportunity to attempt a VBA2C, having found a fantastic OB and an incredibly knowledgeable and caring doula to support me. My goals for this birth were to have the best experience and healthiest outcome possible, to labor naturally and do everything I could to make the VBAC happen, and not to feel too disappointed by a repeat cesarean if that were the outcome.

My due date was March 29. On March 19, I woke up in the night to uncomfortable, labor-like contractions.  This was the start of five very tiring days of prodromal labor.  On the fifth day, as I was getting ready for bed around 10:30pm, I felt a familiar popping sensation in my uterus.  I thought for sure my membranes had ruptured at that moment, and I prepared for the amniotic fluid to begin flowing, but it didn’t.  I managed to fall asleep but awoke at 1:30am to a quick gush of fluid, and I knew then that I indeed had a ruptured membrane.

I labored in the bathroom by myself for two hours.  I belly danced while singing “Rabiosa” by Shakira to myself, which was really fun and surprisingly effective as an early labor coping technique!  At 3:30am, my husband DJ woke up and we went downstairs to gather the remainder of our hospital items and load the car.  I did a few light chores and began eating and drinking a lot in order to prepare my body for what was to come. Around 5:00am the contractions were ramping up and I listened to music and envisioned myself (I’m a group fitness instructor) teaching a really tough Zumba class during each contraction.  If I could get through the hardest Zumba class, I could get through just ONE of these contractions easily (ha! I find that visualization really funny now!).

I called our babysitter to come over.  I also called our doula, Sharon, because I was already starting to question when we should go to the hospital. Sharon assured us that it was too early.   Labor progressed, and I began relying on DJ’s presence and our Hypnosis for Birth practice to help me get through. I tried different labor positions but really only liked standing up or leaning over the bed.

No longer interested in talking much at this point, I had DJ call Sharon back and ask her and our midwife friend, Jane, to meet us at our house. One of my pie-in-the-sky wishes during my pregnancy was to hire a midwife who would agree to come to my house during labor to check me, monitor the baby, and provide advice about when to go to the hospital.  Sharon put me in touch with Jane, and Jane agreed to help with my rather unconventional request.

While waiting on Sharon and Jane to arrive, I felt the need to begin vocalizing during contractions and tried a new labor position – hugging DJ and slow dancing back and forth.  Oh my goodness – this felt incredible!  I was able to pull down on his neck/shoulders and let my bottom drop in a squat during really intense contractions, and feeling the support of his body was really nice.  This is the position we took for most of the duration of labor.  The intimacy we experienced was strong and comforting.

 

Around 9:30am, Sharon and Jane arrived. Jane checked me and I was at 4-5cm, and she stretched me to 6 (but said it would likely go back to 4-5).  She also swept my membranes to stir things up.  She listened to the baby’s heart and he sounded perfect.  He was moving up and down in my pelvis trying to find the ideal position for his head.  And he was in the Occiput Anterior (OA) position, which is exactly what I had been hoping for.  I was so HAPPY that things were going just how I wanted!

We went outside for a while, and on the way we passed my kids, who were curious about me.  I reassured them that I was okay and that the baby was coming.  They heard me vocalize during a contraction – and after that contraction subsided, they began mimicking me!  ”Ooooooooooooooohhh….” they said automatically and in unison.  It was pretty funny!

Jane checked me a couple of hours later and I was at 6 centimeters.  So excited – things were going so smoothly!  She said my labor was “textbook” so far!  I began feeling nauseous, and Sharon let me smell peppermint oil to help (which I loved!).  When I did vomit, it felt like the BEST THING EVER.   It was just a great release and I wanted to do it MORE (even though I didnt need to)!  Jane commented on my shaking body and said it was normal.  I hadn’t even realized I was shaking.

 

Now was the time to head to the hospital. I became very bold at this point and made it clear that I was READY TO GO and we needed to get going right now.  I was excited about moving forward.  I was hugely thankful to Jane before we left.  I loved having her and Sharon together at my house!  I can see why many women feel so comfortable birthing at home with a great midwife and doula support team!

We met Sharon at the hospital around noon and went to triage.  It was then that I sensed a change in energy of things – my feeling of being in a warm, welcoming, loving environment like I had felt at home changed to something a bit more unfriendly, cold, stoic.  The triage nurses didn’t seem particularly overjoyed to see me!  But I wasn’t bothered by that, of course – I simply observed it.

The contractions were very painful now, coming on strong, and sometimes back-to-back with no break in between.  I was expecting to be at or close to transition but planned on delaying any cervical checks for as long as possible.

Once in our room, I felt like I needed to poop.  I knew I was not feeling the urge to push – it truly was the need to poop, or to expel gas.  I made the mistake of saying aloud, “I need to poop”.  The nurse said, “You feel the need to poop? Okay, honey, we really do need to check you now.”  Realizing my mistake, I replied, ”Oh, it was just gas…” But for whatever reason, I let her check my cervix.

This is where things started to go downhill.  The nurse told me I was dilated to only 4 centimeters.  I was stunned.  I looked at DJ, then at Sharon, asking, “Four centimeters? Four centimeters?” I was so disappointed.  Jane said I had been at 6 centimeters a couple of hours ago – and now I’m at just 4???  Sharon tried to reassure me that the checks are subjective – different sized fingers measure differently – and that she didn’t believe the nurse.  I tried to put that out of my mind… and honestly, I think with my the next contraction, it WAS out of my “thinking” mind, because all you can think about during a contraction is getting through that very moment. But subconsciously, I think that this cervical check had a pretty negative impact.

At some point in all of this, the OB on duty (not my OB of choice) came in. I sensed more of that impersonal, unemotional energy.  I secretly hoped that a more smiley, enthusiastic OB would come on duty soon!

Sharon suggested I get into the bathtub. I had a viscerally negative reaction to being in there.  I felt the need to vomit again in the tub, the pain increased a lot, and I did not enjoy the heat and moisture.  I told DJ that I wasn’t sure I could do this anymore – I was thinking of the epidural.  He and Sharon both reminded me just to take it one contraction at a time, and just to get through this part, and said that I was approaching transition.

I labored for a bit longer, but soon began having negative thoughts like I don’t EVER want to go through this again! and I want this to be OVER!   In hindsight, I don’t know where this negativity came from, as I had been looking forward to this journey so much and had been preparing myself both mentally and physically to endure even a very difficult labor (which this was not!).  I am a naturally optimistic person. I had talked such a big game during pregnancy about being pro-natural childbirth and anti-epidural. I had considered myself to be tough and had planned to FIGHT for my VBAC!  Now, here I was in the thick of a beautiful, healthy labor… and I wanted out.  It makes no sense to me now. I am disappointed with myself for having had these thoughts, for opting for the easy road… because maybe I could have had the birth of my dreams if I had been stronger, if I had just kept going naturally.

Instead, I told DJ again that I did not want to do this any longer.  After six days now of contractions, my body was just fed up with feeling pain. I told him that I didn’t care if I ended up with another c-section (*cringe!*) – and that I just wanted to be done with this and wanted to see my baby, and to please don’t talk me down from the epidural anymore.

I received the epidural and was dilated to 6 centimeters, and the OB said the baby was now OP (not the best news!). Sharon was awesome, though – she suggested positions for me to get into to flip him back to OA, which ultimately was successful.

I had the epidural in for about 6 hours, and for several of those hours we were on heart deceleration alert for my baby.  The OB was great about communicating with me about this, though, and I could tell that she was trying hard to help me achieve my VBAC while keeping the baby safe. My opinion of her changed now.  She seemed very compassionate and honest with me.  This felt different than my previous two labors, where the doctor/midwife basically said, “Okay, heart rate is dropping, let’s do a c-section!”.  I was so thankful that this doctor was more open with me.

Next cervical check – dilated to 8 cm.  I was given an oxygen mask, and a fetal scalp monitor was inserted as a last effort to overcome the heart decelerations issue. It was good to see dilation progress, but at this point I felt sure that I would be having another c-section.  I began to cry about that, but still felt a sense of peace and calm, happy about having had a good experience so far.  Sharon tried to remind me that we had not reached the end yet and that a c-section was not inevitable at this point, but I knew what was going to happen.

An hour later, the OB checked me again. I had not progressed past 8 cm for some time and the heart decelerations were not improving.  Who knows how much longer it would take for me to dilate to 10cm, and then to push… She recommended c-section, as I had expected.  I was disappointed, but so excited to meet my baby and to move on to the next chapter.

I was a little nervous about the c-section, and felt myself getting slightly nauseous and dizzy as they prepped me for surgery – as if I were fading out a bit.  But I held it together and tried to stay mentally sharp and focused during the operation.  I began humming songs to myself – “Heart of Life” by John Mayer.  Then, I tried thinking of another song to sing.  The ONLY song, of the millions of songs out there, that I could think of was “Scream and Shout” by Will.i.am and Britney Spears.  LOL!  So I hummed that one just to keep up my positive energy.

William David was born at 9:00pm.  Will’s first cry was the most beautiful sound, and my heart was leaping with joy when I heard it!  I could not WAIT to hold my new little love!  DJ brought him over within minutes of his birth and put him skin to skin on my chest, and he stopped crying. I held a blanket overhead to shield us from the bright lights.  I repeated over and over how much I loved Will, and how thankful I was to God for this precious gift.  I was a very, very happy mama with the most beautiful, healthy little boy to love!

 

Back in action… round three

It’s been months (okay, make that YEARS) since I last posted.  Life has been so busy that chronicling our family’s happenings fell off the to-do list, obviously.  Now that we’re expecting child number three, I’ve gotten questions about the blog.  Am I going to blog about this pregnancy/birth again, as I did with my previous pregnancy?

Yes, I suppose I am. 🙂

It’s 1:43am and I’m wide awake.  Earlier this evening, I fell asleep for three hours in Jolie’s bed as I put her to sleep, so now I’m unable to settle down.  I tried to fall sleep an hour ago, but had to get up to feed myself again.  I vomited up everything just before bedtime when I stuck my toothbrush into my mouth too far, an action that reminded my stomach that, oh yeah, we’re not quite done with the first trimester… a little puking is still in order.

So, still awake… no one to talk to… don’t feel like emptying the dishwasher… time to resume the blog.

A quick update about the Jurenkas these days.  The kids are wonderful and so much fun.  Jolie is five and thriving in first grade this year.  Sam just turned three and is in preschool full time at the same school as his sister.  I am working part time at Microsoft working with my old team (University Recruiting).  I’m also a Zumba instructor and teach 4 adult classes a week, plus 4 weekly Zumbatomic (Zumba for kids) classes at the kids’ school.  DJ is still kicking butt in Xbox Live and trying to improve his golf game.  Our two dogs, Lucy and Linus, are just as loyal, lovable and obnoxious as ever.  We are all loving life and really enjoying being a family these days.

(Those are cotton candy fingers at the Evergreen State Fair last month.)

DJ and I learned about our third pregnancy on July 23, just a couple of weeks after agreeing to table any discussion of a third baby until December.  DJ had been wanting another baby for months; I had not been so sure.  At one point earlier this year, I suddenly became VERY sure about getting pregnant again (so much so that I had my IUD removed…).  A couple of months after the IUD removal, I changed my mind completely, and that’s when our frank birth control/no-babies conversations began. DJ finally caved and agreed to cease all baby talk – a small miracle, given his huge amount of enthusiasm for another child.  😉

Two weeks later, I noticed sore boobs.  Odd.  Must be a weird hormonal thing, I thought.  The next day, DJ asked, “Aren’t you supposed to be getting your period soon?  Because you’ve been acting REALLY nice this week.”  Hmm (and I took that as a compliment). The next day, a Saturday, around lunchtime I suddenly felt exhausted and asked DJ to let me take a nap (very rare for me).  I slept for a solid 2 hours.  Next day, same thing – required sleep at lunchtime.  This time, I slept so long that DJ had to come wake me up.  When I finally managed to drag myself out of bed, I noticed that I was starving.  That’s when I thought, this feels like pregnancy.  But there is no WAY I could be pregnant.  No way.

So I went downstairs, and as I was eating, I remembered having an extra pregnancy test handy.  Purely to amuse myself, I decided to take it.  Because I just knew that it would be negative, I didn’t bother warning DJ.  I just went into the bathroom, peed on the stick, and immediately (no 2 minute wait here…) saw the pink plus sign.  I was SHOCKED.

“Oh my GOD. Oh my GOD. Oh my GOD.”  I *guess* that’s what I was saying…

I heard the kids.  “Mommy!! What’s wrong?  Daddy, what’s wrong with Mommy???”

DJ: “Uhhhh, it’s okay… Mommy just doesn’t feel well….”  (hushed) “Jill, are you okay?  What’s going on?”

I walked out of the bathroom like a zombie and showed him the test.  His face lit up like a happy jack-o-lantern.  I was half laughing-half crying.  Too many emotions to process at once.  Happiness?  Shock?  Disbelief?

Mostly disbelief.  I went to the drug store for another test… in case the first one had been wrong…

I’m now in the final week of the first trimester.  I am very excited about welcoming our third child into the world.  I realize our house is going to become completely chaotic, but we are looking forward to the “new normal” that is to come, and to the new bonds of love that are sure to grow.

We told the kids about baby #3 when I was eight weeks pregnant and had just had an ultrasound with the wonderful radiologist, Dr. Kevin Case, who I met in my previous pregnancy.  He confirmed my due date – March 29, 2013 – and declared our baby to be perfectly healthy, and said that it was safe to share the pregnancy with friends and family.

Here are the kids’ priceless reactions to the news:

(Sam has warmed up to the news of the baby quite a bit in the past few weeks.  Now both kids rub and kiss my bare belly on a daily basis, and they have begun talking to the baby, telling him/her how cute he/she is and how much they love him/her).

(Check… check…. this thing on??)

So I haven’t been posting lately.  Sorry.  Why, you may ask?  Good question.  Here’s why:

(Sometime between 6am-7:30am): Wake up with the kiddies (or should I say, get woken by the kiddies 🙂 )

By 8:00am – kiddies and myself are dressed and we’re working on breakfast.  After breakfast, we play a bit (usually have a “dance party” to our favorite kiddie songs to burn off some early morning energy) and get Jolie ready for school – pottying, shoes/socks on, etc.

By 9:00am – Getting Jolie off to preschool.

By 10:00am – Back from preschool and Sam has been changed and is now napping.  This is Mama’s limited window of opportunity to do some cleaning.  Usually I tackle the kitchen first because it’s ALWAYS MESSY!!  Then, depending on the day, I do something else, like bathrooms or mopping the floors.  I also do laundry.  Everyday.  Otherwise the laundry gets way piled up.  But on days after a really bad night’s sleep and I’m exhausted, I try to also take a nap.

By 11:30am, Sam is up and we play or take the dogs for a walk if it’s nice outside.  Or go to the grocery store if it’s shopping day.  I eat lunch at some point, usually one-handed while I hold and/or nurse Sam.

By 1:30pm, we are back from whatever activity we’ve been doing and play some more.  I might try to sneak in an easy chore here while Sam “helps” (meaning, he sits next to me on the floor playing while I fold clothes or something and try to sing songs to him to keep him happy for a few moments).

By 2:30pm, Sam is changed again and I’m putting him down for another nap.  If I’m lucky, he naps for about an hour.  This is my other window to finish chores, and also to think of something to put together for dinner. 

4:00pm – Sam is up from his nap by now and has been fed.  We play again, check the mail, do whatever possible to get dinner as ready as possible so that I dont have to spend time prepping food when Jolie gets home.

5:00pm – LEave to pick up Jolie from preschool.

6:00pm – We are back from school by now and are sitting down to eat.

6:30pm – Sam, Jolie and mom are in the bath.  Sometime between 6:30-7pm, Daddy DJ arrives home.  Often, it is in the middle of our bath time.  DJ helps me scrub Jolie while I take care of Sam, who is likely getting fussy by now.

Now after this point, DJ takes Jolie and gets her ready for bed. She goes to bed between 8-9pm, exact time based on whether she took a nap or not.

Sam goes to bed between 7-8pm, depending on what time he woke up that morning and how long his naps were.  He hates getting ready for bed and screams… usually because he’s so dang tired by now.

If I’m lucky, I can nurse Sam down to sleep, put him in his swing (since he refuses to sleep in the crib) and he will sleep there for 30 minutes before waking up.

During that 30 minutes, I either take a shower, clean the kitchen,pack Jolie’s lunchbox for the next day, etc.  

When he wakes back up, I try my darndest to put him back to sleep by himself.  During the past couple of months, he has refused to do this.  The only way I’ve been able to get him to go back to sleep has been to put him in bed with me and nurse him to sleep.  And he nurses ALL… NIGHT… LONG… meaning Mama wakes up with a lovely full-body ache from having to contort my body to and fro all night to enable him to suckle.

2am.  Jolie joins Sam and me in the bed.  DJ is sleeping on the couch at this point, which I’m sure is just great for his chronic back pain.  Our couch is not the most comfy… 

6am-7:30am – Start over!.

This is why I have not been blogging – or doing much else that would classify as a hobby – lately. I’ve also been not really communicating with family members (sorry, everyone.  I hope the phone calls will resume soon!).  Promise I love you all and I am not purposefully ignoring you.   

DJ and I are working on getting Sam to sleep independently right now.  Sam’s poor sleep habits are really becoming… hmm, what’s the best way to say this while still sounding kind… it’s becoming old?  DJ and I rarely get alone time at all.  I rarely get to do anything non-kid or chore-related.  Yeah, it’s getting old.

So DJ and I are working to help Sam learn to self-soothe and sleep independently.  Please send us good vibes.  It would be so awesome to put Sam to sleep by himself at a decent time and have at least a couple of hours to myself to do something… fun.  Wow, what a concept!

On the bright side, our kids are happy (usually 🙂 )and very healthy and we have had a very good week (not counting the poor sleeping issues).  DJ and I have been watching our diets and this has had a great impact on our ability to maintain positive attitudes.  Seeing the numbers on the scale move in a different direction (down, rather than up) for once is a great feeling.

A sigh of relief on this Good Friday

Good Friday!  And yes it is…

We’re doing much better today, it seems.  Sam slept better last night – not great (still got up for a 2-hour midnight waking) but better, and he and I slept in until almost 9am while DJ cared for Jolie and took her to school. 

DJ is amazing.  He got horrible sleep last night, thanks to Jolie who woke him up multiple times in the night, yet he has such a great attitude today.  DJ is a special person.  A great dad, a great husband.  Sam, Jolie and I are lucky.

Sam’s hives are better.  I decided to make an oatmeal paste to rub directly on them.  That seems to be helping a lot and they are fading quickly now.  Hopefully whatever it is that triggered this reaction is also leaving his system and he will be 100% again soon.

I know he’s feeling better today – he took a 3.5 hour nap!  Without being held!  It was heaven – for him and for me.  I got to exercise, take a shower by myself, do a little cleaning, bake lots and lots of bunny and egg-shaped sugar cookies for Easter, and drink a lot of green tea.  It was wonderful.  I loved every minute of it… and had to check on Sam multiple times to ensure he was still breathing.  I was skeptical…

More good news – I signed up to attend a yoga retreat in October.  I could NOT BE MORE EXCITED!!!!!!! 🙂

And on top of all this, my good friend Whitney surprised me today with flowers and a mocha at my door step.  She knows I’ve been having a hard time here lately, and this was her way of cheering me up.  It totally worked.  Thank you, Whitney – you are a great friend and I love you!!! 🙂

Tonight, we’re headed out as a family for a little dinner and dancing at Crossroads shopping center.  Always a good time.

So yes, happy Good Friday to all!  And a happy Easter weekend.  May it be filled with lots of love, relaxation and chocolate eggs.  🙂

Jolie turns 3!

Yay!  Jolie is “FEE”!  (otherwise known as “three”). 🙂

I am bringing my blogging dry spell to an end by posting about our week of Jolie-inspired celebrations.  We kicked it off with cupcakes at her preschool on St. Patrick’s Day – the day before her birthday.  She was thrilled!

When we got home, we noticed that a little leprechaun had paid us a visit.  He turned the potty water green and sprinkled gold coins on the floor for Jolie to find.  Jolie wondered why he came to use our potty.  I told her it must have been because he was so excited that she is a big girl and goes potty in the toilet all the time now.  She also wondered why his pee was green.  I wasn’t sure what to tell her on that one.

(Side note – here are some festive shamrock cookies that I intended to send to my grandparents, but the little shamrock stems were so thin that they broke off.  I didn’t want to send broken cookies to you, Mimi and Papa, so maybe you will get Easter cookies in a week or two instead! 🙂 )

We had a big party for Jolie over the weekend.  Lots of her little friends attended and she had a BALL.  She absolutely loved it.  She felt just like a princess all day long!  Can you guess what the theme of her party was supposed to be? 🙂

Here we are, ready to load up the car and head over to the community center where we hosted the party. 

 

You can see all 100+ photos of Jolie’s birthday week/weekend by clicking HERE.

Happy birthday, Jolie!  We love you!

A half-year already? Wow!

Half a year has passed since my little man came into the world.  I can’t believe it!  He looks happy in these photos, but the poor guy is down right miserable this weekend.  His bottom two teeth are visible in his gums but haven’t cut through yet, and he’s really uncomfortable.  He also has a nasty cough.  But you’d never know it from this cute smile :

Happy 6 months, Sam!  I love you!

Sea of George

33 Curious George cookies are Houston-bound tomorrow for a birthday party.  Safe travels, George! 🙂

 

 

Cami’s birthday cookies

Happy birthday to my good friend, Cami!  Here she is, only much cuter in real life: